Is there room in fandom for silence?

This is going to be a departure from my usual essays, interviews, and features because I feel compelled to talk about this.

There’s so much noise out in the world, and it’s something that permeates fandom. If being a fan means you’re on social media, you probably get where I’m coming from—there’s just this deluge of content across all platforms. I’m the kind of person who likes to stay updated, so I am subscribed to a bunch of accounts and follow a lot of people, but lately, it’s just been overwhelming.

I remember going to a musical a few months back, one where a popular musician/celebrity was part of the cast. The show had technical difficulties and the lights had to go back on after a vulnerable, emotional moment, and I was shocked that instead of sitting in silence, the audience decided to start chatting and looking for and taking photos and videos of other celebrities watching the show.

I thought, “Why is the first response to even a bit of silence the need to fill it with so much sound?”

I can help but think, oh, it’s too much.

(I realize this could also be me being in my 30s and just not enjoying the stimulation the way I did in my 20s.)

It’s prompted me to think about the level of engagement I want to keep on social media, especially since I’ve also decided to create more content as well.

I think silence, the quiet—it’s underrated.

The hyperpersonalized algorithms and the perceived value of social media in one’s media diet has created a culture where we feel we need to be on social media for hours at a time. I feel susceptible to it, still, even with my own efforts to be more mindful. I can only imagine how necessary it feels for people for whom social media is their primary source of information and socialization.

This is definitely the case in today’s fandoms.

I wonder if making room for silence can benefit fandoms. I stumbled upon this paper on harmonious and obsessive passion and wondered if silence or simply stepping away from social media can help nudge fans towards harmonious passion. I think it could.

I tried running a small experiment on myself a few months ago and decided to stay away from social media for at least four hours. I used the fact that I had a holiday dinner to focus on to wean myself off of social media, to stop checking for every update and expecting a new notification to magically appear.

I had a great time.

Choosing to focus on the meal and errands I had made it easier for me to not think about social media. And it also made it fun to catch up, because it felt like I went on a trip and came back. I could give different things in my life the attention they deserve, and it felt like fandom didn’t have to receive so much of my focus. The conversations would still be there.

If I were to give advice to new fans or people knew to fandom, here’s what I would say.

1. Choose your circle and choose it wisely. They’ll give you the info you know and likely the friendships you want to cultivate. With the right people, you won’t need to be always ‘on’.

2. Choose 1-2 platforms you’re on, max. Unless you’re running a club or making dedicated fan content, you just need to be in 1-2 places, not the whole ecosystem.

3. Set time in your day for fandom. I find that giving myself a few hours for fandom as opposed to letting it sneak into my day kept my engagement healthy. I could just treat it like my movie or book time. A nice treat at the end of the day.

A recommendation 😁

I used to make awards season a bigger deal (printing ballots, losing my entire morning to the Oscars!), but now I have a more passing interest. I’m still smarting over Conclave not getting a Best Cinematography nomination and the Challengers OST not getting nominated either.

So if you haven’t listened to it yet, here’s one of my favorite soundtracks of the year.

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Thanks for reading, and see you all next Friday!